NOW THIS IS FUNNY – NOT

 

By now you realize that I should have been a media mogul, instead of a world-famous on-the-air personality.

Because IF I owned a media organization, I would have some serious talks with the people who think this is a funny story.

And then I’d call the people who uploaded a video to spank them.

Between “fake news,” and “alternative facts,” there are just some things that should remain – private – and not put out as news of ANY kind.

But we live in a time of a nation of narcissists. It’s all about, “Me!”

Everybody wants to be a star, however short-lived or how potentially dangerous something may be.

Such is the case for the couple who put a video out for the world to see, featuring a woman who mistakenly had ALCOHOL-BASED hand sanitizer in her, uh…private parts, instead of a lubricating jelly during a GYN exam.

It’s likely you saw this. It’s reached Venus (pun intended) and bounced off into the next galaxy by now. Click on the video here. https://goo.gl/PGzZxZ

Those space aliens must think those Kentucky folks are plum bonkers.

When she said, “He grabbed the wrong bottle,” and then laughed uncontrollably, I thought to myself, “You could have been permanently damaged by the doctor, and all you can do is laugh hysterically?”

And her husband was laughing and coming up with one-liners with her during their insistence on sharing an awkward moment with the world, and the universe.

Before I’m accused of being un-funny – or have a lack of a sense of humor – there is a part of me that snickered. The eighth-grade boy in me.

And remember, much of my lengthy radio career, I’ve made fun of almost everything.

However; some things just ain’t funny.

And then, when I quickly realized the dangers of ALCOHOL on skin surfaces, I grimaced thinking about a mistake like that happening; especially in a Gynecologist’s office.

Females of the world must know what I’m talking about.

While the woman’s alleged misfortune may seem funny after the fact, it seems to me she and her husband wouldn’t be cracking up IF there had been lasting harm done to the fetus; or perhaps her own innards.

Which brings me to my point. And there always is a point.

Are they going to sue? It appears not, as the five-minute laugh-fest in the video shows, the couple seem to have no problem with what COULD have happened.

I think we’re all glad it didn’t become a serious medical issue.

I ain’t a doctor; nor have I ever played one on TV, a movie, on the radio or even a stupid Facebook video that went viral.

But I do have a wife.

Andrea was not amused.

As a woman who suffered from female problems most of her adult life, she didn’t find it humorous at all when she saw that video.

I am truly interested to see if ANY of my readers think I’m off-base with this assessment of the ALCOHOL-LADEN sanitizer finding its way INTO the female reproduction area.

The way I see it, from what I’ve learned with my years of being a person who respects the female form, you don’t want ALCOHOL going there. Capeesh?

Do I have to spell it out?

Alcohol can damage skin. It ain’t just me ranting and raving. Read why here from International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. https://goo.gl/Q7zFpo

Because of all this hoopla over the couple laughing about what could have been a nightmare (and frankly had to be very uncomfortable regardless) it leads me to say that if the Doc involved had been using an ALCOHOL-FREE hand sanitizer, perhaps this video may have never been made.

Or, the potential consequences might not have been as severe.

Again, I am not a doctor, but as a male, I don’t think I want alcohol on my privates anytime soon either, thank you.

The moral of the story…

Buy safeHands® brand ALCOHOL-FREE hand sanitizer. Click here to find out how to obtain safeHands®.
http://www.safehands.com/shop/

It won’t dry your… er, uh…hands; and still kills 99.99% of bacteria. Just like those ALCOHOL-LADEN sanitizers.

Remember – smart health begins with safeHands®.

Spread the word, not the germs.

BE BIG!

BigJaySorensen@gmail.com

A PRIMER ABOUT HOW NOT TO BECOME AN OAF

Let’s get this insanity out of the way right off the bat. Watch these couple of oafs. (Perhaps NOT SAFE FOR WORK due to language and stupidity…and surely NOT safe for KIDS to watch.) https://goo.gl/hql7Nk

My first reaction is to smack these two mindless millennials senseless.

But I choose restraint; and hope that by reading this blog, and YOU sharing it with every friend and family member that has internet access of any kind, sanity will prevail.

The fact that hundreds of thousands of people (likely MANY under 18) have watched this video (and others in an apparent series of oaf-like behavior) is, for lack of a better word, disturbing.

But it IS a free country; enabling everyone to be an oaf if they so choose.

However; I believe there should be consequences for their actions.

Oh, and shame on YouTube for keeping this trash online. See the oafishness while you can.

And if I sound like my father right now, so be it.

Perhaps they thought by posting “Crazy Fire Trick – Do Not Attempt,” along with the video was going to free them of any blame IF, by some chance, some poor unsuspecting kid MIGHT think this is cool…because they made it LOOK cool in their infantile millennial way.

Note how often the word “LIKE” shows up in their insipid dialog!

Like, OMG!

But in a country and culture that worships internet celebrities and dumb behavior with hundreds of thousands of views, and shared no less, says all you need to know.

And, predictably, a tragedy occurred when a kid tried this at home. Here’s a short version of the story. https://goo.gl/ysWvd1

If there is anything that you have gotten from my dozens of blogs over the last few years is that ALCOHOL-BASED SANITIZERS are combustible. After all, they usually contain over 60% alcohol!!

The millennial know-it-alls looking for their 15 minutes of fame were only thinking about that brush with stardom. The heck with their lame disclaimers.

Here’s the impassioned plea from the MOM of the eight-year-old child that suffered burns. Watch here. https://goo.gl/BbS59g

Try not to cry for this kid.

But, just for the record, why she didn’t monitor her son’s viewing of YouTube videos is beyond me.

I know YOU would NEVER let a child that age just play with the internet; only to stumble onto this. Right?

The people involved with safeHands® brand, NEVER, EVER use ALCOHOL in their hand sanitizing products.

They never have – never will.

You see, the mission of the inventor, founder and CEO of safeHands® brand ALCOHOL-FREE hand sanitizer, Dr. Jay Reubens, was to develop a safe and effective ALTERNATIVE to alcohol-based hand sanitizers. Dr. J’s goal was to ensure that his foam-based hand sanitizer not only killed over 99.99% of germs – but that it helped soothe, nourish and preserve the skin’s natural oils.

It dawned on Dr. J, as he successfully tested the product with his friends and family, that a sanitizer that could be used frequently throughout the day and leave the hands feeling great, would be a product that people would love to use, would use more frequently and would in turn could lead to a decrease in escalating infection rates. As safeHands® products became a reality, it has become Dr. J’s mission to educate about the benefits of alcohol free hand sanitizer, one hand at a time.

After over 60 formulations, safeHands® was perfected and underwent extensive clinical testing on human hands.

The science has proven safeHands® to be tough on germs and soothing to the skin. Dr. J, in collaboration with leading scientists, developed a complete line of safe and effective hand sanitizers now sold internationally. http://www.safehands.com/our-science/

The rich, exclusive formula in every bottle of next-generation safeHands® hand sanitizer will pamper your hands, even for those with the most sensitive skin.

The safeHands® brand is for Everyone. Everywhere.

Before you have the urge to use ALCOHOL-LADEN hand sanitizers because you’ve been hoodwinked to believe it is totally safe; think again.

Instead, think about ALCOHOL-FREE safeHands® brand.

You can purchase safeHands® here. http://www.safehands.com/shop/

Smart health stars with safeHands®.

Spread the word, not the germs.

And don’t be an oaf.

BE BIG!
BigJaySorensen@gmail.com

P.S.
I am NOT Dr. Jay Reubens; nor are we related. We only share the name JAY!!

Why would we?

There have been way too many stories of abusing ALCOHOL-BASED hand sanitizers—kids AND adults!

The millennial know-it-alls looking for their 15 minutes of fame only were thinking with that in mind. The heck with your lame disclaimers.

If you wish, you can look back at my stories about people DRINKING ALCOHOL-LADEN hand sanitizers; often with tragic results. See my past blogs here. https://goo.gl/DChLkq

DON’T SHAKE HANDS DURING THIS PRESIDENCY!

Our new Commander-in-Chief doesn’t like to shake hands. Here’s the story. https://goo.gl/A1KaQ4

And I can’t blame him.

We were at a wedding last weekend, and by week’s end, we also attended a wake/viewing for a dear friend.

During both gatherings, I must have shaken about 100 hands. I lost count at 75.

I have noticed, like many of my fellow hipsters, that I find myself fist-bumping a lot more these days since my pre-hipster days.

Why?

Because I became a bonafide germaphobe (like Mr. Trump) about 10 years ago, when I went through my second bout with MRSA.

I guess if I ran for office (especially on a national scale) I would be doing a lot of fist-bumping like our new President Donald Trump.

And the President before him. And the President before him.

Mr. Obama said a while back (supposedly said half-jokingly) that the best advice George W. Bush gave HIM was to use hand sanitizer if (heaven forbid) he had to shake hands with anyone.

And for the first time ever…I agree with all three of the last Presidents of The United States of America.

But here’s where I must draw the line of demarcation.

I will NOT use one of those potentially toxic and flammable ALCOHOL-BASED hand sanitizers.

And of course, during this flu season, you will read over and over that you should wash your hands with increase regularity; and when you can’t, to use an ALCOHOL-BASED (at least 60%) hand sanitizer.

Uh. NO!

I won’t.

Here’s an example of the media that seems brainwashed on believing that ALCOHOL is the ONLY type of hand sanitizing product that kills germs. Remember; the flu is a virus, not bacteria. http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/34249989/watch-what-you-touch-keeping-clean-during-flu-season

There ARE alternatives.

I choose to use safeHands® brand ALCOHOL-FREE, NON-TOXIC and NON-FLAMMABLE hand sanitizer. Read ANY of my archived Big

Jay’s Big Blogs to see why I made this methodic choice; as should you.

The science behind safeHands® says it all. Read it here. http://www.safehands.com/our-science/

But back to our non-political rant about President “The Donald.”

Germaphobe-in-Chief.

Head fist-bumper.

Hand shaking-less leader of the free world.

I too fear the flu. And I fear that whatever someone touched just before shaking MY hand will make me sick.

And I must head back to the wedding reception we attended recently.

My wife had to use the restroom at this world-famous mid-town Manhattan eatery. When she returned to the table, she looked spooked. She is anemic, but this time she was especially pale.

I asked her what was wrong. When you’re married 40 years, you KNOW the look when something ain’t right.

She told me that NOT ONE of the women using the ladies room washed their hands after using the facility.

And you wonder why I DISPISE shaking hands?

Need I say more?

But I will.

I think with the advent of the so-called “Internet of Things,” soon, we will see mandatory hand sanitizing, perhaps against our will, in restrooms worldwide. Buzzers will blare, and voice will scream “Warning! This oaf didn’t clean hands.” Then a gizmo will come at us and sanitize our hands. It could happen.

And if I’m ever elected President, I would sign that legislation the second it was hand-delivered (after using safeHands® of course) to my oval office desk.

I mean, come on people.

Why are we (as a society) so non-compliant about keeping our hands clean? Is it THAT difficult to simply wash your hands?

That’s why my New Year’s resolution was to shake LESS hands in 2017, wash my hands more prudently and always carry around my trusty bottle of NON-ALCOHOL, NON-TOXIC and NON-FLAMMABLE safeHands® brand hand sanitizer.

God Bless the U.S.A. from germ-filled hands.

Buy safeHands® here. http://www.safehands.com/shop/

Smart Health Starts With safeHands®.

Spread the word, not the germs.

BE BIG!

BigJaySorensen@gmail.com